Facebook Status: The Douchebag Barometer

June 26, 2009

Alright, I almost didn’t write a blog about this, but someone actually was curious about what the hell I was talking about, so I decided it’s probably best to get off my chest, and hopefully give you some laughs in the process.

Let’s talk about the internet. Now, I think the internet is a great place. Without it, you wouldn’t be able to be reading my thoughts right now, and I know most people would have terrible lives without my worldly wisdom. Unfortunately, the internet has some bad side effects. It allows people to have the ability to become huge douchbags, without fear of getting socked in the face. (See Perez Hilton)

So then, if the relative anonymity of the net gives one a license to douche, what about the great facebook, where everyone you know can read about your awesome opinions? Yesterday, as you all probably know Michael Jackson passed away. Now, I’m not going to pretend I was best friends with the guy, but I respected the man for having a musical output of great songs, and for making such a massive impact on the music industry.

Here is where the Barometer comes into effect. How many of you thought, upon immediate news of the death, “Ooh, MJ died? Now I can show off my razor sharp wit by posting some funny status update about it here!”. Apparently quite a few. I even saw someone make multiple posts to really hit home how god damn hilarious it was that a man just died.

Now if you’re thinking, “oh come on, why do you care, you didn’t know the guy,” then fine, I didn’t. But please, next time one of your family members dies, please let me know, so I can come roast them at the wake (I’m totally writing a skit about that now). I don’t know your relatives, so I can insult them after death, right? Maybe I’m being excessive, but it says a lot about a person whose first impulse is to make an off colour joke about someone’s demise as soon as they read about it. Are you looking for funny points from your friends? All you get from me is the douchebag stamp of approval.


One Response to “Facebook Status: The Douchebag Barometer”

  1. DW Says:

    So since someone makes an “off colour” statement, right or wrong or whatever, you just prove your hypocrisy by calling them a douchebag? Nice!

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