Not a Fan #2: Stupid Ad Campaigns

September 1, 2009

Advertising. The stuff is everywhere, and living in the city, you can’t walk half a block without seeing an ad for something plastered on a bus stand or a telephone pole. We’ve pretty much come to accept being bombarded by advertising all the time, and most people seem to just ignore it and get on with their day. I too, try to ignore as much as I can, but I find it difficult to ignore certains ads that piss me off just by their sheer ridiculousness. Today I’m going to run through some examples of completely stupid ad campaigns, and on a scale of one to ten how much they piss me off.

Culprit #1: Pepsi.

Now, I enjoy Pepsi drinks. I can safely say I prefer Pepsi to Coke, but one of their latest ad campaigns is completely stupid. One day I was walking downtown, when I came face to face with count them FIVE billboards all advertising Pepsi.


Most prominent was a new slogan “Joy It Forward”. What the hell does that even mean? Is it just a cheap corruption of the phrase pay it forward? According to their website, it’s all about spreading joy or some crap. Here’s a quote from the actual site.


I had no idea Pepsi was manufactured with JOY. It must explain why I’m so happy all the time. Also, what the fuck is a “joygle”? If there’s one thing I hate more than simply silly ads, it’s the ads that blatantly make up words and phrases. Say, that’s a perfect segue into my next topic…

Culprit #2: Koodo

God damn Koodo. As soon as I saw the first ads of weirdoes dressed in American Apparel nylons, I knew we were headed to a bad bad place. Little did I know how truly obnoxious the ads for this campaign would get. Every billboard features a freakishly deformed person, and has some sort of invented phrase regarding mobile phone features. Phrases like “bigbillification” or “tabrific” actually piss me off when I read them. It saddens me that I get unhappy at reading a simple billboard, but I find them so annoying I can’t help it. I’m quite fond of the English language, we have a good relationship. It upsets me to see it getting raped like this on countless billboards featuring horribly disfigured people.


Culprit #3: Apple

Alright, this could be kind of up in the air, seeing as a lot of people like this ad campaign. I myself enjoyed the first few commercials. I’m of course referring to the famous “I’m a Mac” commercials with Justin Long and John Hodgman. At first I thought they were slightly funny, cute ads. Then eventually, they just seemed to be slightly dickish, then just basically outright assholish. I mean, I get that most people attack the competition nowadays, but really, Windows isn’t the only operating system out there. Not to mention I’ve never even seen an ad by Microsoft attacking Apple, they just spent their time making bizarre (and strangely hilarious) commercials with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. It almost seems like Apple has inferiority complex.

What competition?

What competition?

Culprit #4: Geico

Now, Geico seems to have a problem with deciding on what they want to represent their brand in commercials. First there was the gecko, which I get. Gecko/Geico, similar spelling and name, it’s a pun, plus it was a cute animal, what’s not to love? Then we moved to the weirdly dark caveman commercials, which always made me feel kind of uncomfortable. Those poor bastards just couldn’t catch a break. Now all of a sudden we have another new mascot, and this is the one that just boggles my mind with the sheer amount of stupidity it represents.

This makes sense in somebody's mind

This makes sense in somebody's mind

The stack of money, with googly eyes. What. The Fuck. What the hell does any of this have to do with insurance? Alright, you’re saving money, but why the hell does it have eyes? And techno music that seemingly eminates from the googly eyed money pile (as seen in the one commercial where someone removes a glass cover from around the money, and the music gets louder). Who was sitting at a table and suggested this thing? How does something like that get approved by a group of executives? It makes me want to buy insurance from someone else out of spite.

Final Verdict:

Pepsi: Though I find this ad annoying and obnoxious, it isn’t as widespread as some of the others. Still, the creation of stupid terms and phrases irks me so it gets a mild 5/10.

Koodo: God damn, I can’t even think about these without getting pissed off. I just threw my alarm clock across the room after writing that last sentence. This ad sets off all of my irritation alarms, with it’s ugly colours, stupid words, and virus like way it has permeated everywhere I go. 9/10

Apple: I barely see these anymore, but I wanted to bitch about it a little bit anyway. I’ll give it a paltry 4/10, mostly because it just annoys me now, but no real raging occurs.

Geico: The amount of frustration these give me is mostly just due to the absurdity of the stupid money pile. The slogan is still fine, even the music is fine, but that dumb ass pile of googly eyed money is just aggravating in it’s ridiculousness. 7/10

Well there you have it, my thoughts on some ads that I probably shouldn’t care this much about. Check back later for more of me complaining about stuff that most normal people wouldn’t.


5 Responses to “Not a Fan #2: Stupid Ad Campaigns”

  1. Graham Says:

    fuck it pisses me off too .

  2. Steve Says:

    hey, i liked that geico commercial 😦


  3. highwastedgenes Says:

    I always thought you were a Pepsi. Got back to Quebec or, I guess just, back up north.

  4. highwastedgenes Says:

    ooppths, go*

  5. Jonny Says:

    I’m considering therapy because I can’t think straight anymore. My mind has been invaded and infiltrated by that damn “TEXTFINITY!” shit and the song repeats over and over again in my head. I want to throw myself off the city bridge into the river where I will rest in peace…

    But I’m sure Koodo will eventually find a way to campaign rotting corpses too.

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